


Under The Oaktree

by muselesswriter



Series: Cursed; monthly prompts [3]
Category: Cursed (TV 2020)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Inner Struggle, M/M, Other, mention of Lancelot's parents, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:21:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27567409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muselesswriter/pseuds/muselesswriter
Summary: Lancelot believed that he was conncected to the Oaktree, for there the tree was present in his life's changing moments, he sought comfort, solitude, love underneath its trunk.
Relationships: Father Carden & The Weeping Monk | Lancelot (Cursed), Gawain | The Green Knight & The Weeping Monk | Lancelot (Cursed), Gawain | The Green Knight/The Weeping Monk | Lancelot (Cursed)
Series: Cursed; monthly prompts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2000485
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	Under The Oaktree

\- Under the oak tree is where the important things happen, starting from the place where Lancelot’s life changed forever, for when the Paladins raided their village, he hid under the Oaktree, clinging to it as if his life depended on it, which was true, he used his camouflage like his father once taught him, blended with the brown colours of the wood, he stood still as the tree that was standing between life and death, he hid his sobs of terror, it was hard to tell whether the lines on his face were from the mark of Ash folks or his own dried tears.

When the little boy he thought that the paladins were gone he left the security of the tree's trunk and went seeking his family, even though everyone was burned to ashes, even though the corpses were unrecognizable, Lancelot picked a familiar scent, he found his father or at least what's left of him, his body was mutilated beyond recognition but Lancelot knew the scent of Lavender that surrounded the corpse, his mother's favourite. 

He sat next to the already decaying body that once was filled with life, crying, shaking him, perhaps if he called him loud enough then the man would wake up, or so the child hoped and prayed, but the Hidden were cruel, and instead of returning the boy's family, they sent a shadow figure in his direction, one that made the boy's heart instantly clench, his presence felt like a stab of winter air.

 _“You knew exactly which one is your father, didn’t you boy?”_ the shadow behind him demanded, he turned, gazing upon him with his blue eyes, he was no shadow but a man in red, like the ones who man slaughtered his entire village _“I asked you a question unless you're deaf or mute then you must answer, it’s rude not to answer your superiors, didn’t your demonic parents teach you that?”_ the man said with amusement. 

Lancelot frowned, even though a child of five barely understood the word that described his parents, he felt the need to defend the dead _“they are not demonic!”_ he protested _“they’re God’s abomination child, and so are you”_ the child looked clueless of the meanings _“you’re a monster”_ the man in red laughed _“no child, I’m a man of faith, I saved your parents’ souls, they were deemed to burn in hell, but the fire cleansed them, may they now stand a chance of forgiveness by God, the one true God”_ Lancelot’s pout only grew as he understood nothing.  
  
_“What’s hell?”_ he sniffled _“a place where all monsters and sinners go where they burn for eternity and get tortured by demons with horns, how old are you, boy?”_ Lancelot wasn’t certain, his mother told him it’s been five springs since he was born, he pointed five fingers _“tell me, child, do you wish to go to hell? With monsters and demons?”_ the terrified boy shook his head, the man smiled. 

Kneeling in front of him, his red robe covered the dead leaves on the ground _“I can help you, I can teach you how to save yourself, teach you about God and Christ, but you must help me as well, redemption is a long difficult path that I can’t walk for you, I need you to help me cleanse more souls, you are gifted boy, with you by God’s soldiers on earth everyone will be saved, they’ll go to heaven, a place of beauty and peace, so what do you say child?”_ hesitant, unaware of what it meant, Lancelot nodded.

  
  
\- Under the Oaktree is where he got his first slap, the boy’s been weeping about his family, his friends, he kept asking the red man if his God can bring them back to life, if he’s so powerful then perhaps he can spare two souls or even just one for the newly orphaned boy, he swore he’d still help the paladins, but all he wished for is a touch of love, the man tried to explain that God will only bring them back on judgement day, where he'd judge their actions, whether the fire cleansed them enough or not, the boy kept asking when would that happen, but the man's patience was less than the love in his stone of a heart, he struck the boy so hard on his cheek that blood started coming out of his mouth, Lancelot froze, he’s never been hit before, his father would never allow such harm.  
  
_“Enough weeping, boy! God replaced your devil worshipping demons of parents with men of faith and you cry instead of rejoicing? How ungrateful you are? Perhaps sparing you was a mistake! If you’re planning on remaining ungrateful then it’s for the best to part! Go may the wolves eat you alive with your small fragile figure!”_ the man who introduced himself as Father Carden yelled, Lancelot sniffled and held his ground, he was indeed weak and small, he’d never survive on his own. 

_“my weeping boy, can’t you see? I’m offering you redemption! A chance of salvation and an opening to earn forgiveness! I’m giving you a home and a cause, what more can a child want?”_ Lancelot thought of listing his needs; love, protection, caring, kindness, but his left cheek and jaw were still sore, and his swollen lips advised him against it, he looked at the ground _“I’m sorry”_ the man nodded _“we’ll address your wrong behaviour back at the camp, a lesson must be taught now move along child”_

  
  
\- Under the Oaktree is where he punished himself first, father told him he was old enough to distinguish between what’s right and what’s wrong, Father wouldn't stay alive forever to remind him that mistakes are to be avoided and not to be repeated, Lancelot understood that, he understood life isn't guaranteed, that he is not a child anymore but on the path of becoming a great weapon of the Lord, fifteen lashes, for speaking when he wasn’t spoken to, another ten for forgetting his manners and asking an inappropriate question, a question about love, he deserves no love, who can love a monster like him? who want to reproduce abominations with him? he’s a mere weapon, his only purpose is to serve God.

The Weeping lad wept, allowed the pain to remind him of his mistakes, Father always said there's no better way to learn how to avoid a mistake but relating it to the pain, an oral lesson might be forgotten but a physical one is permanent and the scars will guide him, once his breathing steadied, and his tears dried, he put on his grey cloak and returned to the camp, Father praised him for taking responsibility, he gave him an apple that day as a gesture to reward the good behaviour, Lancelot was glad, Father was pleased with him, he did well.

  
  
\- Under the Oaktree is where he sat, when he lost his faith and his leash didn’t bring him closer to God, his back was a map but his heart felt empty, he tried to address it with Father but he said he was an animal to track his people, he noticed for the first time that Father never called his name, Lancelot, to him he was Child, then the Weeping lad and now The Weeping Monk, he sometimes calls him son, that if he’s pleased with him, he told him his eye marks were hideous constantly and told him to hide them and for years he listened.

But the Green Knight... he told him it was a sign that he belonged somewhere, to someone, to the Ash folks, that day, he told him of the paladins' doings, how they tortured children and raped women, he asked him if he thought this is the correct path, no one asked for Lancelot's opinion before, no one requested him to think, he was a soldier, a weapon, he always complied but never made a decision of his own, Lancelot decided to walk a new path by nighttime, a path which he thought would lead him into the true redemption that he sought.

  
  
\- Under the Oaktree is where he got his very first kiss, from a man he thought of as a foe, not as a lover, they arrived at the Fey camp, being accepted was challenging, but he managed, he found an oak tree and sat underneath, to enjoy his solitude but that didn’t last, within moments the Green Knight joined him, he sat beside him but not too close, Lancelot was uncomfortable to closeness, even if it came from the knight who saved his life, the former monk felt strange, stressed, disoriented, however, those feelings weren't precisely his. 

_“you’re alright?”_ The Knight asked, truth be told, his companion of a former Monk wasn't, he’s here to think of a sinister dream he had last night, of him being underneath another, the monk shrugged _“fine, if you don't wish to speak then I will"_ he rested for a moment _"I came here to speak to you in private...”_ Gawain began, Lancelot turned his attention to him _“I grew feelings for you, despite my desperate tries of repressing them for I don’t know if you lay with men nor I know if are ready for such news, so I told you of my heart, now it’s up to you to do as desired and whatever you choose, I will remain as your ally and friend”_  
  
Lancelot remained quiet, how easy it was for Gawain to speak of his heart's desires? oh, how he wished it was as easy for him, his heart conflicted between wanting Gawain’s love and everything Father taught him, men who loved men are sinners, men who lay with men are sinners, but Father also told him he's an animal and he isn't, the silence worried Gawain but the Green Knight understood the situation in hand, he understood how everything is rather new for his friend.

The blond one gulped _“I admit I have similar feelings, but I’m unworthy of your love nor kindness”_ Lancelot whispered, praying the Hidden and God to save him from this conversation, he prayed if his feelings were wrong and sinful then God might strike him dead at this moment but the almighty never did, although his hands were shaking but luckily he had them hid in his grey sleeves _“that’s for me to decide not for you”_ Gawain mentioned, he noticed the struggle in the Monk’s eyes, Gawain softly reached and caressed Lancelot’s cheek, he flinched but didn’t back away so he decided to take a chance.

 _“May I kiss you?”_ Gawain asked, the Monk froze for a moment or so, but God didn't strike him dead as he prayed, nor the Hidden opposed, he wasn't sinning, and he always wondered how the other's tender lips would feel on his, so he nodded, and then he closed his eyes, Gawain hesitated, part of him wondered if Lancelot agreed to do it just to please him, but another part told him that the Monk is free now to do as he wishes, and perhaps that's what he wished, he leaned closer, slow, strategizing every move so he wouldn't harm the other, and then their lips met, and everything felt right for a change.  


Under the Oaktree is where everything important happened, where everything important happens and where everything important will happen, or at least, that’s what Lancelot thought. 


End file.
